Live, learn, be free

Running In Place

There are times in our lives when we think we are getting ahead and getting things done but it seems like nothing is happening.  It can be frustrating to feel like you are working hard only to not see the results you expected.

I understand this problem firsthand.  I am an impatient person.  I feel like if I am working hard on something I should be able to see the results.  Things changed for me when Elijah was diagnosed with Asperger''s Syndrome. 

The progress Elijah made was slow.  We were busy driving him around to all his therapies and programs.  He was progressing we just weren't seeing the results yet.  Then I was reading James 5 one day and it dawned on me, God wants us to be patient. 

Now I must say this was not an easy process and still isn't but God has been faithful.  He has followed through with His promise to us about our son.  After waiting patiently for 8 years Elijah is making amazing progress.  He had made some progress over the last 8 years just not the kind of progress he is making right now.

We persevered and now we are seeing the results from running in place.  James 5 warns us about wanting it all right now.  We need to be patient and wait on God, His timing is always the best.  We need to keep running in place and be patient, blessings await.

If you are currently struggling with this problem keep in mind the words of James 5.  Be patient and stand firm.  God will always follow through on His promises.  Keep running in place and your reward will come.

Hebrews 12:12

Earlier this year I ran the Flying Pig Half Marathon.  I trained for 6 months.  I worked hard and I planned.  I overcame injuries during training.  I was still caught off guard when my a new injury came up during the race. 

Perseverance and endurance are important in times like those.  My runner partner and I persevered and we finished.  The real joy is just finishing, I knew there was no chance of winning. Some people asked why even try when you know you can't win?

To me running is about my body beating out my mind.  If you have ever done some running you know your mind can get the best of you.  Your body can do the work but your mind talks you out of continuing.  That is what Hebrew 12 is all about. 

Staying in the faith race until the end.  We can have many stumbling blocks in our way but we can overcome them.  We need to stay focused to continue running the race.  Think about what hindrances get in your way.  Hebrews 12 gives us encouragement and support for those times. 

Our biggest struggle for many years has been Asperger's Syndrome.  We have trusted God and prayed for our son.  We have endured and persevered and God has been faithful.  What is your struggle?  Pray and ask God to help you, and He will.  God has given us great hope for our son.   

Asperger's Syndrome: An Inside Look

Our family has dealt with Asperger's Syndrome for over 8 years now.  You would think we know it all by now, but we don't.  Just when we think we completely understand something, we realize we don't.  We continue to learn each and everyday about this syndrome.

God has opened the door for us to talk to others about what it is like for us as a family to deal with this.  We have been blessed beyond measure through this experience.  Asperger's Syndrome is not just hard for the person but it is hard for those who love them.

As the insiders it can be devastating until you realize that God is in control.  God created them this way for a reason.  We fully trust God, we know He has a plan that will glorify Him.  There are still times we question and we do still mourn losses at times. 

It all comes back to the fact that God has always been faithful to us, we must be faithful to Him.  In due time this will all make sense either in this life or the next.  God will not hang us out to dry.  He has always provided for us and He will continue to do so.

Asperger's Syndrome is not a sprint it's a marathon.  We are in a for a long haul but we continue to pray for ways to glorify God through our troubles.  Asperger's Syndrome is welcome to be a part of our family but it can not take control of it. 

Elijah is doing so well right.  We can really see God working in Him.  The progress he is making right now is immeasurable.  It is so cool to be a part of this and we thank God for making us "flies on the wall" of His work.

Language Learning

Have you ever tried to learn another language?  I am currently trying to learn German.  I grew up speaking both English and Spanish.  I learned both languages at the same time but language learning can be difficult for many people. 

Asperger's Syndrome can be like language learning for those who struggle with it.  Asperger's makes it difficult to read social situations.  Those who struggle with this syndrome have to learn how to navigate everyday social situations.

We have had to teach our son the same social concepts nearly everyday.  It is hard for him to understand how our social "language" works.  On the other hand it is hard for us to understand their world as well.  We have been working on educating those around us in the last 8 years.  If we can come to understand their world then we may be able to make this world better for them to understand.

Asperger's Syndrome can be devastating when you have to learn the social "language" everyday over and over.  We need to work towards not just helping those with Asperger's Syndrome navigate our social world, but we need to educate those around us.  Let's stop and think twice before judging someone, they may just be learning our social language.

Asperger's in Not a Joke

I like to download the free television programs on itunes for when I travel.  Recently I downloaded a program called Community.  It was a highly anticipated program that has received much acclaim.  I had not had the opportunity to watch it so I downloaded it on itunes.

I started to watch the series premiere.  The show was not really as advertised but I thought I would give it a chance and at least watch until the end, that is however until a particular scene on the show.  One of the main character's tells one of the other character's he thinks he has Asperger's. 

The other character's in the scene, including actor Chevy Chase, sit around making fun of Asperger's Syndrome.  The laugh and have a good time at the expense of those who suffer with this disorder.  Needless to say I was beyond disgusted.  I could not believe they were openly making fun of people with Asperger's like this.

This was all amazing to me since the former CEO of NBC Universal's grandson has autism.  Is Bob Wright aware that his former network is making fun of not just his grandson but others like him?  It is really amazing to me that something like this is ok. 

Just because someone is different from us does not give us the right to make fun of them or the problems they struggle with.  Please keep this in mind when choosing what programs to watch and support.  Asperger's Syndrome is not a joke, it is a serious problem that requires understanding from us all.

The Upside of Asperger's

I think I will try something new with my blog.  I would like to help educate people about Asperger's Syndrome, so every Wednesday I will try to give some insight into what it is like for our son and what you can do help those who struggle with Asperger's Syndrome, like my son.  I hope this raises awareness as well as sensitivity for those who are different from us.

A few years ago a friend asked me, "if they invented a cure for Autism would you give it to Elijah", I thought for a moment and answered, "No".  That may sound strange to think I would not want my son to be healed from this disorder that torments him at times.

Let me explain myself.  Elijah is a wonderful child, he has setbacks and struggles.  He is a very loving and caring child.  This is not a typical trait of Asperger's Syndrome, usually they are not very emotional or empathetic people.  Elijah on the other hand has always accepted hugs and affection from us. 

I am thankful Elijah was diagnosed at such a young age.  We have had privilege of early intervention.  I think what we have been through with him has made us better people.  Elijah has learned so much in the last 8 years.  He really has come a long way. 

I love him just the way God created him and I would not want to jeopardize what we have right now with the possibility of a "cure".  I think as Elijah gets older we continue to trust God with his life, we pray and we need to continuing putting his life in God's hands. 

We must trust God, because there is an upside to Asperger's and God is showing it to us.  We get the opportunity to help our son through life's struggles with a different set of eyes.  I do believe God has a plan for our son and we trust Him to continue to guide us through this maze of Asperger's.

Believing God

You may believe in God, but do you believe God?  There is a big difference between the two things.  Believing in God does require much on our part.  The Bible tells us that even the demons believed in God.  The important part for us in our lives is believing God.

We need to believe God can and will do what His word says He can do.  There are many verses in the Bible about believing God.  It's seems easier to believe God when all is well, it is much harder to believe God when things are not going well. 

A year after Elijah was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease.  I was tired all the time and was having terrible side effects from the medication.  This was a very difficult time for our family. We prayed, we fasted and we gave it all up to God.

We read the verse in Mark 9:24, and we confessed our unbelief to God and gave our worries to Him.  God took control of our family and our illnesses and showed us He was able.  God wants us to give up our unbelief, He wants us to believe Him.

I think it is important to know that just because we believe God it does not mean everything will turn out the way we wanted.  God is in control and His will trumps ours.  When we believe God, His will is done in our lives.  I was healed from my thyroid disorder, but our son continues to struggle with Asperger's Syndrome.

God is able and we know that in His timing everything will work for the good of the kingdom.  God will be glorified through us and our struggles.  If you wrestle with unbelief, confess it to God and He will take your burden.  God is in control, do not let the things of this world hold you back from the blessings of God.

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

I have to admit I still get frustrated with our son's medical situation.  It has been 8 years since doctor's shattered our world with the Asperger's diagnosis for our 3 year old son.  Upon receiving this diagnosis we grieved the loss of a "normal" little boy.  Our son would most likely not be doing the things that most little boys were doing.

We decided to put everything we could into getting our child to a better place in life.  We sat in therapy rooms, and doctor's offices for years.  Elijah has grown by leaps and bounds.  He has made more progress than we could have imagined. 

We have been pleased for some time with Elijah's progress, but it has seemed to me that for every step forward, we take two steps back.  Elijah progresses in an area, but falls behind or regresses in others.  We have prayed over our precious boy for years.  We know in our hearts God has a plan for our son.  We know he will continue to progress. 

I know for me, I have to keep focused on the progress he has made and not on how far he still has to go.  When I start to think to far ahead, I panic.  I don't have all the puzzle pieces and it's hard to see what puzzle I am working on. 

Frustration subsides when I look at the progress he has made.  Elijah talks, he feeds himself, he can calm himself down on his own most of the time.  God is in control and I know he will continue to give us strength through this life storm. 

When I look at the big picture I realize that with every step forward, we get a new piece of the puzzle.  We are not actually taking steps back.  God will be glorified through Elijah's life whether I can see it or not.  I love my sweet son so much, it's hard to watch him struggle.  I know that he understands God, which in his world means a lot.  He accepted Christ last year and chose to be baptized. 

God is working in him and in us.  We continue to pray for him and for direction on how to help him.  Sometimes we try too hard to help Elijah, we have to just hand him over to God, and in due time God will hand him back to us.  I have peace in my heart that Elijah will have a life that will help others see how big our God is.